I have been following this blog —The Sexy Celibate: Making Sense of the Unexpected Single Life. In this post -Why it Sucks to be Unintentionally Overlooked Part III (In Which Cinderella Wears a Power Suit),* the question was raised, why “Happily ever after” has to always be found in marriage? This is from the perspective of someone that still longs to be married but the story has yet to turn out that way. Adding to the pain is the prevalent notion that happiness can not be found in other ways. Or the pain of being overlooked or undervalued (especially in church) because ones story does not represent the acceptable narrative.
My personal favorite Disney cartoon was Beauty and the Beast. Originally it was because I thought the songs were funny and the scenes in the Beast’s castle really tripped me out when I used and abused psychoactive chemicals. Unfortunately, I can relate with the Beast; he was hopeless. He was ugly because he treated people badly. Belle was praised for her beauty yet ostracized in her community for being "strange". Yet she was kind. Of course, she wanted more out of life then she was experiencing and was intrigued by tales of adventure and the notion of "meeting prince Charming". Instead of ending in marriage could it have ended with the Beast going to rehab and Belle pursuing inventing things with a generous grant from the guy formally known as the Beast? I don't want to take Disney analogies too far because typically there are false messages included as well. (I haven't seen it in awhile but an example that comes immediately to mind is that it is inadvisable for nice women to try to "save" total jerks through "dating". I did a Startpage search for, "what is the main message of Beauty and the Beast" and the first answer I read was, "Treat others the way you would want to be treated". That is a good place to start. Of course, easier said then done! Especially, when one is so depressed they wished they never woke up today. This calls our usefulness into question which can further our despair. Otherwise our wounded-ness can lead to bitterness and any number of beastly behaviors.
Often our experience of church sadly is as a place of smoke and mirrors. Even in small "Bible studies" people seemingly have to protect themselves and therefore speak so vaguely about things that what they are saying ends up meaning very little. As Sam Cox so eloquently put it in the comments for the above video, "that great contradiction in all of us - we want to be seen, heard and understood for who we are on the inside and yet that very person is the same person who would misjudge others in the first place.” The church should be as Ted Roberts puts it, “a place of practical grace… a place where hope is the dominant theme, and denial, especially religious pretending, is nowhere in sight.” In the church, amongst Christians, we should feel safe to bring all of our emotions to the light. Jesus himself was the one whom Isaiah prophesied as, “a man of sorrows acquainted with grief”. (Isaiah 53:3) I think of the saying “the church is not a museum for saints but a hospital for sinners”. I get the gist, although it hits me the wrong way because it perpetuates a false notion of what a saint truly is, Biblically speaking.
*(this post has since been removed so it is a little unclear why i am still talking about it)
A funny example of over thinking Disney films— Beauty and the Beast’s Dark Delusion
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